thechosenone305: godofsassgard: even Ellen thinks she’s fucking annoying yep

thechosenone305: godofsassgard: even Ellen thinks she’s fucking annoying yep

Tomlinsarse: What My Brother Just Came Into My Room And Put A Blob Of Butter On My Arm And Just Stared At Me With The Straightest Of Faces So I Asked Why He Did That And He Just Whispered, “You Never Said You Didn’t Want Butter On Your Arm”

Dampsandwich: Weed Is Bad. Smoke One Weed And You Will Be Gay, Your House Will Burn Down And You Will Die

Fancybro: Ladyblackkat: Worst Physical Pains Stepping On A Lego Stubbing Your Toe Touching A Curling Iron Getting Shampoo In Your Eyes Spilling Lemon Juice On A Paper Cut Getting Stabbed 47 Times Burning Your Tongue Sitting On A Hairbrush Getting

The-Villain-Is-The-Catalyst: 20Julz13: It Just Wants To Wear The Hat “No Son Of Mine Is Gonna Wear People Hats”

When You Hold Someone's Pet For The First Time:

Stripeydani: Okellyjaneo: Moo58: These Two Were Supposedly Based On A Real Couple, Who Said They Wouldn’t Board A Life Boat As Long As There Were Younger People Still Aboard The Ship. They Both Went Below Deck, Presumably To Their Room, And That’s

Slightystoopidd

Wow I Just Love This Emoticon (¬‿¬) Everything Seems So Shifty (¬‿¬) And Creepily Sexual (¬‿¬) I Like Your Socks (¬‿¬) What A Nice Cock (¬‿¬) Well That Escalated Quickly So Did Your Cock (¬‿¬) (¬‿¬)

Skellaten: I Wish I Didnt Though, Just Like Doesnt :(

Obeseblackguy: This Really Speaks To Me

Faceofbong: Order A Pizza And When The Delivery Guy Shows Up Act Confused And Ask Whos It For, And When The Delivery Guy Says Your Name Just Say “Adam?….. Adam Doesnt Live Here Anymore. He Died Exactly 10 Years Ago After He Ordered A Pizza. Is This

Askclint: If You Are Reading This, You Have Survived Your Entire Life Up Until This Point. You Have Survived Traumas, Heartbreak, Devastation, The Elements, Different Phases Of Life. And Here You Are. You Go, Motherfucker. You’re Awesome.

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